I'm thankful for you, Lord.

I have numerous things in this life to be thankful for, its true. 

Faith
Family
Health
Career
Home
Food
and an excess of other earthly belongings.

My cup overflows. 
God has made me a steward of far more then I need.

People often say, "I am blessed." That's true, we are all so very blessed. I've uttered those words many times when thinking of the things, people, opportunities I have in life.

But on this Thanksgiving, it is my goal to focus more on the Lord, then on my blessings. 
To be thankful for not just what we have been given, but for who He is. 
To find joy in the giver, rather than the given.

I am so very thankful for this life, but Lord, I am even more thankful for You.

I am thankful for your Son.
I am thankful for His innocent blood that was shed on the cross.
I am thankful for Your Law, to show me my sin and need for a Savior.
I am thankful for Your Gospel, to show me I have a solution.
I am thankful for Your Grace + Justification.
I am thankful for choosing me, for pursuing me, for giving me life saving faith.

As I listened to my devotion this morning, I heard these words:

"Thanksgiving is not just an ability to see the good things in life, but a new attitude of joy toward God who has been good to you. His love for you in Jesus has no end."

Let this be our thanks + meditation on this Thanksgiving day, and everyday.

Becoming Healthy: Mindset

This post is 100% raw, honest, and vulnerable. My heart is pumping as I hit “publish.” You may have even noticed that it has taken me a bit of time to write this second post of the “Becoming Healthy” series. It wasn’t something I could write quickly, or set a “publish date”” on. I needed time to know exactly what it was I wanted to say, how to properly put it into words and share it with you!

I want to be completely open and real. Certain areas of my life get “tucked away” or untold on social media + this blog. In some instances, that is for good reason. I don’t feel it necessary or appropriate to share every single personal detail of my life. But in many ways, sharing your story and personal journey is empowering and inspiring. Not only for yourself, but for others. When I read about other women’s struggles, accomplishments, and LIFE in general, it is always so encouraging and relatable to myself. I want to be a woman who uses my blog to speak out and tell my story. I hope something I share, big or small, inspires and encourages others, even you, in some way.

I have been working on becoming the healthiest version of myself for some time. What does that mean? It doesn’t mean I am carrying a ton of extra weight. It doesn’t mean I’m out of shape. But it means I want to take care of myself. I want to feel well. I want to love and respect the body God has given me. So I read books, visit blogs, scroll through Instagram health (NOT fitness models) accounts, follow doctors and nutritionists online, and have even talked with experts all in order to educate myself on nutrition and wellness. Because of all of this research, I’ve inevitably tried numerous ways of eating and taking care of myself.

From Paleo, Whole30s, calorie counting and restriction, high protein/low carbs, high fat, portion control containers, protein powders, meal replacement shakes (I’m happy to say I have found one that is ahhhmazing), sugar detoxes, and the list could go on. While I implement some or part of these ways of eating today, nothing has ever been my ONE answer or solution to my diet or “health goals.”.

I’ve realized that not finding the “one perfect” nutritional solution is normal and okay. That goes against every marketing pitch you and I hear. But it’s true.

It’s okay when things just don’t fit my lifestyle. It’s okay if things just don’t work. It’s okay that I have done some exploring when it comes to my health and nutrition. It’s okay to continue exploring and see what works best for me. It’s okay to eat a certain way. It’s okay to eliminate certain foods for a time. It’s okay to try a diet. It’s okay to do a fitness program. If you are reading this and can relate...don’t feel guilty, it’s okay.

I have realized that when it comes to being truly healthy, it cannot be done only by outward things such as nutrition and exercise. Rather, health comes when you combine both the outer form of  health with your inner form of health. In other words words...

It is essential to have a healthy mindset.

While I’m now working on a better mindset, it wasn’t always a work in progress...

When it came to trying certain ways of eating, I always had a mentality of ABSOLUTES. Meaning, I HAD to eat a certain way. I commanded my body to follow guidelines perfectly. The smallest of slip-ups completely de-railed my efforts. If I screwed up, I wouldn’t respond by fixing the mistake. Instead, I would come crashing down, give up, and run in the opposite and unhealthy direction.

For example:

Counting/Restricting Calories? If I ever went over, I threw in the towel and thought it was a lost cause anyways. “I guess I’ll just eat whatever I want!” And don’t even get me started on the mind game that those “calorie tracker” apps play...

Telling myself gluten and dairy are COMPLETELY off limits? Yea...you know that saying, “you want what you can’t have?”

No sugar for 30 days? On day 31 you bet I consumed every gram of sugar I could get my hands on!

And can I be really open and honest?

I approached the 30 day cleansing and fat burning system as a “quick fix” program. While I believe in the products, and still use them today, my mindset when starting the program did not set me up for continued success. I was stuck in that mentality of absolutes. I was stuck in the thought that I will be “fixed” after a certain number of days with the perfect product. The “you gotta go hard to reach your goals” mindset kicked in. The “If you drink the alcoholic beverage you won’t get the same results as someone else who chose not to” advice was constantly giving me guilt. I felt unhealthy. I felt broken. I felt like a failure.

Does any part of this sound at all like you? Can you relate to these things on any level? I feel like I could not possibly be alone on this!

I’ve just recently realized how many years I’ve had thoughts about losing weight and being my healthiest self in this type of “quick fix” mindset. How many years I would lose weight quickly, and then gain it back that much more quickly. I’ve always been enticed by 21, 30, 90, however many day programs, because I thought my up and down battle could end within that amount of days. I am SO OVER IT. I’m done being a slave to a dieting, absolutes, and “getting the perfect body now” mindset.

You can have the best program, supplements, and organic food in the world. But if your mind is telling you that all will be resolved with your health, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and failures again and again.

So how do I fix this mindset problem that I have? I am not a psychologist, or a coach on this subject. But I have done my research through videos, blogs, books, and social media platforms. I’ve been blessed to come across some AMAZING experts who support and teach people how to overcome a negative mindset with nutrition. From these sources, and numerous pieces of advice, I have chosen 4 practices to focus on in becoming more positively minded towards nutrition. These are a starting points. They won’t be perfected in a week; it will take time. But I know these practices will help me kick a negative mindset around food.

I’m LOVING the body I have, NOW!

How many women can truly say they love and respect their body? If you do...yay! I am so very happy for you! But let’s be honest. Who has had a “Fitness Inspiration” Pinterest board at some point in their life filled with pins of fitness models, and women with tight “perfect bodies.” My first piece of advice is, DELETE those images! Love, respect, and admire YOUR body. The body that you have right NOW. If you do not practice loving your body for what it is now, you will constantly be chasing that “dream” body, toned abs, or those cellulite free legs. That type of mindset is so negative and disrespectful, it even hurts to write it! By loving what your body is, you can more successfully focus on making it the healthiest version of itself right now!

I’m no longer thinking in absolutes when it comes to my diet.

I am working on the well known 80/20 rule. Well, heck, sometimes maybe it’s 60/40. Maybe even 50/50. Whatever ratio it is. I am working towards a balance between nutritionally valuable food, and food that I consume for enjoyment. Thinking in absolutes or a 100% healthy all the time mentality will more than likely send you spiraling backwards the moment you make one “unhealthy” choice. Whatever your ratio is, just make it better than what you are doing now.

I’m learning how to eat “intuitively.”

Have you ever eaten a snack at 10 am because that is your “snack time?” Do you immediately start preparing your lunch at noon because that’s when you always eat lunch? Oh my goodness have I ever been programmed that way! I’ve always thought, “I need to eat every 2 hours.” or “I eat at this time, this time, and this time. What?! Why?! Yes, I understand that their is science behind keeping your metabolism going, and obviously some of us have scheduled times in our work day that only allows us to eat at that time. But what if you threw your scheduled times of eating out the window? What if instead you listened to your body, the signs it was giving you, and then ate when you were truly hungry?

I’m eliminating food guilt.

This is a big struggle of mine. But here is how I am working to fix it. If I am wanting to consume food that could possibly make me feel guilty I first think about my choice. What do I truly want for my body? If it is the enjoyment and pleasure of a guilt food, I first accept my choice, get in a good mood, and go for it! I sit down and truly enjoy the food! I am so sick and tired of the endless cycle of guilt and shame behind eating certain foods. OWN your choices, live in the moment, and enjoy every last bite! Once you start mindfully making choices, and asking yourself what you truly want or need, making “healthier” choices will become that much easier.

No one is perfect. Not you or me. I know that I will have struggles and setbacks when it comes to a healthy mindset about food. I’m a continual work in progress.

But practice makes progress, and progress leads to success over time. It could be a long time, or maybe a shorter amount of time. I’m taking my time. I'm showing myself grace in times of failure. I'm asking the Lord to bless my efforts. I'm looking to make each day better than the previous one when it comes to my health, nutrition, and mindset.

A Slow Season.

I wrote this post in the beginning of September. For whatever reason, I chose not to post it. Maybe because for a short period of time things shifted to being a bit busier. Maybe I wasn't comfortable sharing my thoughts. Maybe I felt that people couldn't relate, or would judge my situation in life. Whatever it was, I'm putting those reasons for not posting aside, and sharing my thoughts on a slower season that God has placed me in.

As long as I can remember, I have always been a "busy" person. My hands have been in multiple baskets at one time, and I continually went from one job, meeting, sport, church function, to the next. I have held the personal belief that being busy and occupied with obligations was a good thing. It kept me on task, focused, and gave me a feeling of accomplishment. I still personally feel that I thrive off of a busy schedule; it's just my makeup.

Josh and I recently moved to Michigan after a school year in Milwaukee. In MKE Josh was a student and I taught a 4 and 5 year old kindergarten class. Life in Milwaukee was in constant motion! We loved this new and challenging season in our lives and learned so much. Now in Michigan life is a bit different, unbelievably enjoyable and great, but most definitely different.

Currently, I'm in a season of slowness and the unknown. Slow, in that I am not teaching, planning lessons, or working long hours. I'm actually able to spend time with Josh, read, BLOG, and enjoy a bit more relaxation. Unknown, in that I hold a couple of part-time gigs (nannying and subbing), but it's still up in the air as to what else I will end up adding to that. Or will a full-time opportunity present itself? And then there's next year. Will I be doing the same jobs? Will something else fall into place? Who knows.

So this is life. It's taking care of 3 sweet little boys, spending more quality time with Josh, committing to a budget (oh, how I miss that salary!), having time to do things I enjoy instead of obligations I must complete, and curing any anxious thoughts with His words, "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) 

Someone I love shared this verse with me, and reminded me of this: "Being too busy is one thing that keeps us from God. Know that in slow times the Lord is calling you to spend some quality time with Him!" My Lord is right. It's time for me to be still. It's time to sit back and enjoy this season of time. An opportunity of growing closer to God is too good to pass up.

November Goals.

It's a handful of days into November, but I'm still committing to sharing my November Goals. Better late than never? We'll go with that!

To be completely honest, I wanted to skip this month. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep up with blogging about goals or talking about my success and failures when it came to achieving them. I just didn't know if it was something I wanted for this blog. I liked the idea, but just didn't feel passionate about it. 

But I've realized that I am choosing to think of goal writing as a negative obligation. I am choosing to feel insecure or uncomfortable about sharing failures that I have month to month. I'm choosing to think of it as an uncomfortable thing to write about. 

But what if I started choosing to think positively about the opportunity to blog about my goals? What were my reasons to start in the first place? 

To actually write out and have monthly goals so I can be actively growing and improving myself. 
I saw other bloggers do it, and enjoyed reading their posts.
So I could be held accountable to completing the goals I set.
A theme for this blog is encouragement, and I wanted to encourage others to write monthly goals. 

I also got a slight "kick in the pants" by a blogger who I have followed since I first started reading blogs back in college. Nicole is an enormously lovely woman who fiercely loves Jesus, her husband, and has a huge heart for ministry and building women up through her words. She is one of the original bloggers that inspired me to post about monthly goals. I was over at her blog today, and saw how faithful (my word for the year) she was with posting about her goals month to month. I loved and admired her honesty, and felt "not so alone" when she was open and honest about not accomplishing a goal. THANK YOU, Nicole for being so real. If you do not read her blog, please do yourself a favor and start :)

I'm so thankful for a community of bloggers who work to support and encourage others (even if they are unaware they are doing it) through their hearts being put into words.

October Goals

1. Finish a book

Thank you Jesus for giving me the ability to commit to reading a book. Truly, it is such a struggle of mine. I always put off, or don't give priority to reading. It's something I'm working on. I finished "Go Pro" by David Worre this month.

2. Do Yoga 3 times a week

This one started off strong, but then I began slacking a bit towards the end of October, beginning of November. I totally felt the difference when I stopped! I love the feeling of lengthening + strengthening when I practice it consistently.

3. Continue doing and being more consistent with the Kayla Itsines BBG Guide 1.0

I stopped doing this workout guide. Not because of a bad experience. I've used these workouts for over a year now. It's simply because I've learned that I am a person who thrives off of variety in my workouts. I just can't do 1 type of exercise for 3 months. Just can't. I do plan on sharing more thoughts about this in another post!

4. Set up and follow specific office times

Still working on that one...but I'm finding that since my schedule is so shifting, it's easier to schedule times day by day.

5. Go to the apple orchard, buy baking apples, and make my mom's apple crisp

Of course I did this one! And it was even sweeter because I was able to do it with my mom while she was here visiting. I documented some pictures from the day on my instagram.

6. A month without buying new clothes or coffee shop coffee

I'm almost positive I was successful. I definitely did not buy any clothes (except when I used some birthday money and gift cards at the end of the month!) And I say I'm "almost" positive because there may have been a time or two that Josh and I were out of town, or when our parents were visiting that we did get coffee. My main purpose with this goal was for me personally. I wanted to stop getting coffee when I was out running errands. I'm a sucker for the experience. Holding a coffee cup in your hand, or sitting in a coffee shop and reading while enjoying your cup, nothing beats it! But the price tag just didn't work with our budget. All in all, a successful month of no extra clothes or coffee spending :)

November Goals

1. Read "The Power of Full Engagement" by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz

A book that Josh swears by, and that I have read to page 60 about three times...I know I will enjoy it and it will be beneficial to me and my productivity.

2. Finish studying the book of Romans

I plan on reading a chapter a day. I'm going slower through this book because I am reading "The People's Bible" along with it. It's such a great way to not only read the Bible, but truly study and understand it. There's only 16 chapters, so I should be able to finish by the end of the month.

3. Do Yoga 3 times a week (at least)

4. Blog more consistently

I'm not sure exactly what "consistently" means quite yet. I'm not going to set a number of posts a week or month to it. But this weekend I plan to write out and organize post ideas, and start tentatively scheduling them. While I'm not going to get all bent out of shape if I don't post regularly, I do want this space to be visited and written in more often. Here's to more blogging through the end of the year! 

5. Being intentional about social media

I actually spent a week in October social media FREE. I uninstalled all of my social media apps. It helped SO much, and I felt like I had my priorities straight after some time away. I could see doing this again if I find myself spending too much time online.

When I am on social media, I so often catch myself absentmindedly scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, or blogs, without actually connecting and communicating with people. Isn't that the point of it? When I do decide to spend time on those spaces, I want to make my time beneficial, connecting and giving encouragement to others.

6. Drink 90 ounces of water a day

Friends, I am HORRIBLE about drinking water. It's actually pretty bad how little I drink. It is so essential for our bodies, and being passionate about taking steps towards a healthier me, I want to make this a priority this month.

I hope you are having a wonderful November so far. Thanksgiving is almost here! Josh and I are excited to head back to Wisconsin and spend some time with my family. Until then, I'm enjoying these last few days of fall weather before the Midwestern winter decides to come...
I would love to hear your goals for the month. Feel free to share below! :)